paper 2 rough draft

My paper still needs to be shortened up a bit. It falls at 1800 words. I am not quite happy with my closing paragraph either...Open to constructive criticism and input! thanks!

Educators Roles

There are many important things that a teacher does for their students, many hats they wear so to speak. These teachers spend their free time planning lessons, and preparing themselves to make the best for their students. Their jobs are very multifaceted. Mrs. Watson and Mrs. Gruwell were faced with a very different set of students who existed in very different times. They were on opposite sides of the country teaching students of the upper class versus students of lower class. They were discouraged in their missions due to different kinds of hurdles.  Teachers are our guides through school, they help inspire our thoughts, and if they are doing their jobs well the information sticks with us forever. In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by our teachers is advocate for the student; Mrs. Gruwell and Mrs. Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

Both women were unspoken activists of their time. They were mentors to their students in a way the students had not seen before. Mrs. Watson was a revolutionary of her time. She exposed the girls at Wellesley to think outside of their norm. She showed them modern art, helped them to see their futures consisted of more than just a wedding, and was at Wellesley to make a change. These were the smartest women in America and some of them had not even considered that they had more options other than marriage and what was expected of them in those times. They were expected to conform, and please their husbands. As well as retain major amounts of etiquette and poise while studying math, language, arts, history and writing. Mrs. Watson had come from California where she had seen other women as well as herself go through college and have a career for themselves. The life she knew and had seen other west coast women obtain was not one entirely focused around marriage, and that was the message she was bringing to the girls at Wellesley.

When we examine Mrs. Gruwell in her environment, we see the same characteristic there. She was also a revolutionist of her time. She was an activist more for equal opportunity of all people, not just women, or the elite like we saw in the last example. She spoke for the students of Long Beach and really represented their needs. When Mrs. Gruwell was told her students could not have certain textbooks and reading materials because they could not be trusted to take care of them, she went out and bought them for her students with her own money. She wanted these students to be challenged the same way other classes were challenged. The students in her class had no desire to learn English because they had never been shown dedication, or desire to be taught. Mrs. Gruwell invited them to share their life stories with her through diary writing and in turn she learned just HOW to teach them. In later years she continued teaching these particular students and even went on to work at the colleges they attended. Mrs. Gruwell fought for this right by going straight to the school board and superintendent to be granted permission to stay with her students, and allow them more learning opportunities than they ever knew possible.

Mrs. Watson was a very clever disciplinarian in her students’ lives. When she was first brought in to teach Art History at Wellesley, she was "welcomed" into a classroom of know-it-all women. They managed to embarrass her on her first day of teaching. All the women in her class had memorized their syllabus; they knew every slide she showed, leaving Mrs. Watson feeling very defeated. She set the tone of her classroom by returning to class with new and more challenging material. The women she taught were caught off guard and responded by having to work harder and learn new things about art history they had not been introduced to before. When Mrs. Watson was asked to forgive Betty for her absences and grant her an A for work she did not do, she instead questioned that system that had been in place for quite some time. She sternly told Betty that she was required to earn her grade and must make up the work. She also made the women feel disciplined when she read an article criticizing her for asking her students to think outside the box. She brought into class more slides that showed them how the rest of the country viewed their life choices. She was able to make the women understand and see what she was trying to teach them all along, that there were other options besides marriage and conforming to that role.

The characteristic that Mrs. Gruwell holds of disciplinarian is what got her class to come together in the first place. Without that, her students would not have the core discipline required of them throughout life. Mrs. Gruwell entered a classroom of students who already spent their early years struggling with authority, not being motivated by teachers, and not expecting to graduate at all. Mrs. Gruwell had a discussion with her students where she was able to point out similarities between all the different races in her classroom, she made the students move their desks and re-define their self-inflicted "borders" between the races. There was an instance where one student drew a very demeaning picture of another student who was African American. The picture circulated the classroom; it depicted black men with big lips and ears. Mrs. Gruwell got the entire class's attention by drawing a connection to the Jews and how Jewish people were depicted. The students were forced to see the wrong in racial discrimination and hate. Mrs. Gruwell was able to bring behavioral modification into her classroom by setting up a reward system for her students. If they did their work and showed that they were responsible enough then they would get rewards, like being able to go on trips, eating out with their teacher, being treated equally, and having a say in what they would study.

Mrs. Watson was an ally to her students once the students became more open minded to the way Mrs. Watson did things. She had come from California where women had careers and a family at the same time, so her outlook on life was very different than that of her students. Yet they managed to become a team at some point. When the girls held a secret gathering at their school they invited Mrs. Watson, made her feel welcomed and shared things with her about their personal lives. She in turn did the same, shared her stories with them allowing a bit more insight into the person she was. They were able to trust her since she kept this meeting a secret. One student, Joan, had told Mrs. Watson that she had an interest in Law school. Mrs. Watson was probably the only adult teacher that Joan could share this information with since women who worked were frowned upon by her society. Mrs. Watson helped her to apply and shared her joy when she was accepted. Joan had to let Mrs. Watson down when she informed her that would not be route she would take, instead she was married and that was truly what she wanted. Joan was able to explain her feelings to Mrs. Watson because she trusted her.

Mrs. Gruwell became an ally to her students when they allowed her into their lives by sharing their personal stories with her. She was able to get a firm sense of what they had been through and that led her to be able to teach them better. She read their stories that contained gang violence, abuse, drug use, and betrayal and survival that they had all endured. By taking her students out to see things in real life they knew they could rely on her to teach them, which was her first step in gaining their trust. Mrs. Gruwell was confided in by her students. They had not had a teacher before that they felt so safe with and respected by in the past. She worked hard to show them that she was going to go the distance for them. One student was able to connect with Mrs. Gruwell and take her advice to finally go home to his mother instead of living a life of homelessness and sadness. Another student was able to confide in Mrs. Gruwell about a court case that she was a witness on. She told the truth and was then in danger of being hurt physically because of her honesty that had put someone in jail for a serious crime. Mrs. Gruwell helped her out by allowing her to stay after school and then driving her home each night. At first they viewed her as another "white woman" trying to understand their lives, in the end they viewed her as a friend and confidant, someone they trusted and admired.

While both Mrs. Gruwell and Mrs. Watson had arrived at their new schools to make a difference, they had no idea what kind of difference they actually made. They both came together with their students to show them the true potential they had. They guided their students through this process in a very profound and admirable way. Both teachers were at first discouraged and they rose above this by truly speaking and acting on behalf of their students. Mrs. Gruwell and Mrs. Watson were exemplary advocates for their student body, the most important role they could have played.

thesis and one paragraph

Thesis:  In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by teachers is advocate for the student, Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

There are many important things that a teacher does for their students, many hats they wear so to speak. These teachers spend their free time planning lessons, and preparing themselves to make the best for their students. Their jobs are very multifaceted. Mrs. Watson and Mrs. Gruwell were faced with a very different set of students who existed in very different times. They were on opposite sides of the country teaching students of the upper class versus students of lower class. They were discouraged in their missions due to different kinds of hurdles.  Teachers are our guides through school, they help inspire our thoughts, and if they are doing their jobs well the information sticks with us forever. In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by teachers is advocate for the student, Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

point by point

I. There are many important things that a teacher does for their students, many hats they wear so to speak. These teachers spend their free time planning lessons, and preparing themselves to make the best for their students. Their jobs are very multifaceted. Teachers are our guides through school, they help inspire our thoughts, and if they are doing their jobs well the information sticks with us forever. In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by our teachers is advocate for the student, Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

A. Both women were unspoken activists of their time. They were mentors to their students in a way the students had not seen before. Mrs. Watson was a revolutionary of her time. She exposed the girls at Wellesley to think outside of their norm. She showed them modern art, helped them to see their futures consisted of more than just a wedding, and was at Wellesley to make a change. These were the smartest women in America and some of them had not even considered that they had more options other than marriage and what was expected of them in those times. They were expected to conform, and please their husbands. As well as retain major amounts of etiquette and poise while studying math, language, arts, history and writing. Mrs Watson had come from California where she had seen other women as well as herself go through college and have a career for themselves. The life she knew and had seen other west coast women obtain was not one entirely focused around marriage, and that was the message she was bringing to the girls at Wellesley.

 B. When we examine Mrs. Gruwell in her environment, we see the same characteristic there. She was also a revolutionist of her time. She was an activist more for equal opportunity of all people, not just women, or the elite like we saw in the last example.She spoke for the students of Long Beach and really represented their needs. When Mrs Gruwell was told her students could not have certain textbooks and reading materials because they could not be trusted to take care of them, she went out and bought them for her students with her own money. She wanted these students to be challenged the same way other classes were challenged. The students in her class had no desire to learn English because they had never been shown dedication, or desire to be taught. Mrs. Gruwell invited them to share their life stories with her through diary writing and in turn she learned just HOW to teach them. In later years she continued teaching these particular students and even went on to work at the colleges they attended. Mrs. Gruwell fought for this right by going straight to the school board and superintendent to be granted permission to stay with her students, and allow them more learning opportunities than they ever knew possible.

A. Mrs Watson was a very clever disciplinarian in her students lives. When she was first brought in to teach Art History at Wellesley, she was "welcomed" into a classroom of know-it-all women. They managed to embarrass her on her first day of teaching. All the women in her class had memorized their syllabus, they knew every slide she showed, leaving Mrs. Watson feeling very defeated. She set the tone of her classroom by returning to class with new and more challenging material. The women she taught were caught off guard and responded by having to work harder and learn new things about art history they had not been introduced to before. When Mrs Watson was asked to forgive Betty for her absences and grant her an A for work she did not do, she instead questioned that system that had been in place for quite sometime. She sternly told Betty that she was required to earn her grade and must make up the work. She also made the women feel disciplined when she read an article criticizing her for asking her students to think outside the box. She brought into class more slides that showed them how the rest of the country viewed their life choices. She was able to make the women understand and see what she was trying to teach them all along, that there was other options besides marriage and conforming to that role.

B. The characteristic that Mrs. Gruwell holds of disciplinarian is what got her class to come together in the first place. Without that, her students would not have the core discipline required of them throughout life. Mrs. Gruwell entered a classroom of students who already spent their early years struggling with authority, not being motivated by teachers, and not expecting to graduate at all. Mrs. Gruwell had a discussion with her students where she was able to point out similarities between all the different races in her classroom, she made the students move their desks and re-define their self inflicted "borders" between the races. There was an instance where one student drew a very demeaning picture of another student who was African American. The picture circulated the classroom, it depicted black men with big lips and ears. Mrs Gruwell got the entire class's attention by drawing a connection to the Jews and how Jewish people were depicted. The students were forced to see the wrong in racial discrimination and hate. Mrs. Gruwell was able to bring behavioral modification into her classroom by setting up a reward system for her students. If they did their work and showed that they were responsible enough then they would get rewards, like being able to go on trips, eating out with their teacher, being treated equally, and having a say in what they would study.

A. Mrs. Watson was an ally to her students once the students became more open minded to the way Mrs. Watson did things. She had come from California where women had careers and a family at the same time, so her outlook on life was very different than that of her students. Yet they managed to become a team at some point. When the girls held a secret gathering at their school they invited Mrs. Watson, made her feel welcomed and shared things with her about their personal lives. She in turn did the same, shared her stories with them allowing a bit more insight into the person she was. They were able to trust her since she kept this meeting a secret. One student, Joan, had told Mrs. Watson that she had an interest in Law school. Mrs Watson was probably the only adult teacher that Joan could share this information with since women who worked were frowned upon by her society. Mrs Watson helped her to apply and shared her joy when she was accepted. Joan had to let Mrs Watson down when she informed her that would not be route she would take, instead she was married and that was truly what she wanted. Joan was able to explain her feelings to Mrs Watson because she trusted her.

B. Mrs Gruwell became an ally to her students when they allowed her into their lives by sharing their personal stories with her. She was able to get a firm sense of what they had been through and that led her to be able to teach them better. She read their stories that contained gang violence, abuse, drug use, and betrayal and survival that they had all endured. By taking her students out to see things in real life they knew they could rely on her to teach them, that was her first step in gaining their trust. Mrs Gruwell was confided in by her students. They had not had a teacher before that they felt so safe with and respected by in the past. She worked hard to show them that she was going to go the distance for them. One student was able to connect with Mrs Gruwell and take her advice to finally go home to his mother instead of living a life of homelessness and sadness. Another student was able to confide in Mrs Gruwell about a court case that she was a witness on. She told the truth and was then in danger of being hurt physically because of her honesty that had put someone in jail for a serious crime. Mrs Gruwell helped her out by allowing her to stay after school and then driving her home each night. At first they viewed her as another "white woman" trying to understand their lives, in the end they viewed her as a friend and confidant, someone they trusted and admired.

While both Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson had arrived at their new schools to make a difference, they had no idea what kind of difference they actually made. They both came together with their students to show them the true potential they had. They guided their students through this process in a very profound and admirable way. Both teachers were at first discouraged and they rose above this by truly speaking and acting on behalf of their students. Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson were exemplary advocates for their student body, the most important role they could have played.

continue drafting paper 2.

I am really enjoying the point by point drafting exercise more than the blocking. I have begun to re draft my essay and feel much more confident in describing the roles using characteristics in this format. My intro still needs to be tweaked a bit.

 Intro and thesis:
   There are many important things that a teacher does for their students, many hats they wear so to speak. These teachers spend their free time planning lessons, and preparing themselves to make the best for their students. Their jobs are very multifaceted. Teachers are our guides through school, they help inspire our thoughts, and if they are doing their jobs well the information sticks with us forever. In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by our teachers is advocate for the student, Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

WS 45-46

Sections 45-46 in our textbook explain definition and process when used in writing an essay. It pertains to our current paper in the following ways. Definition is needed in this paper #2 because we are defining the roles of our characters. We are not using actual dictionary definitions but we are using the same type of method and descriptions to explain to the reader the role of the teachers. We need to be able to give OUR clear definition and evidence that supports why we correlate these teachers with the roles we have chosen.  These characters come from movies or books so we must keep in mind the process or timeline in this case of the movies. The characters we have chosen must be introduced and defined in words that explain how the teachers started their journey, and what they accomplished along the way. I may be stretching it a bit with the process section and how it relates, but it is not like explaining how to change oil, it is much more complex. We have been given a storyline which we assessed and dissected to pull out the evidence we needed. Keeping chronological order, or they way it happened in the movie, will make it understandable and clear for the reader.

Drafting exercise in class- paper 2

I. There are many important things that a teacher does for their students, many hats they wear so to speak. These teachers spend their free time planning lessons, and preparing themselves to make the best for their students. Their jobs are very multifaceted. Teachers are our guides through school, they help inspire our thoughts, and if they are doing their jobs well the information sticks with us forever. In school, from elementary through college the most important role played by our teachers is advocate for the student, Mrs Gruwell and Mrs Watson have represented this role throughout both movies.

Most important roles of teacher: ally, friend, disciplinarian, role model, idealist, advocate

Name of teacher #1 Mrs Gruwell - "Freedom Writers" Positive example
Name of teacher #2 Mrs Watson - "Mona Lisa Smile"  gradually positive example

Both teachers are positive examples of the role of Advocate, although one teacher is given more of an opportunity to show this than the other. One teacher has limitations to advocacy but continues to push forward in her revolutionary ways. The other teacher has almost no limitations to her advocacy, she can go the distance for her students. Through hard work she proves to the school board that her visions are possible.

II. Body Paragraphs
  A.Consistent dedication
    1. Mrs Gruwell sees fights in her classroom on more than one occasion within her first semester at Woodrow Wilson High School. She remains dedicated to even those specific students.
    2. Mrs Gruwell is told by the school secretary that she may not check out books because her students will destroy them. So she gets another job and buys them herself, which she then continues to do throughout the movie, "working three jobs to pay for her one job". Her own husband frowns on her because of that.
    3.  When Mrs. Gruwell is given advice from her father to move on to another school, change locations, don't bother with these students, she disregards the importance of her fathers opinion, something she strongly valued her entire life.Little did she know that in the end her father would support the decision she made to stay once he saw the effect she had on her students.
   4. She spent hours and hours of her own time reading the stories of the students in her class, and she put special effort forth to understand each student individually. One student

B.Ally
    1. Mrs Gruwell transforms herself into an ally with the introduction of her diary writing assignment. She tells them that they may keep the diary all to themselves and she would not read them if the student did not want her to. You see that they go for  this idea right away and fill her closet with their diaries, knowing she would not share them with school officials.
    2. The students begin to share more specific and private details to Mrs Gruwell, like being abused physically, watching family go to prison, seeing young friends shot, and the lifestyle involved with drugs that some kids had to live. She is there to listen to them and hear their stories simply for an outlet, and so she could come to teach them better knowing more about where they come from.
   3. When Eva Mendez decided to tell the truth on the stand and the truth puts "one of her own" meaning another Hispanic friend, into jail she then needs help to get to and from school. She asks Mrs Gruwell to let her stay after school and do her homework because she gets home so late. Mrs Gruwell offers to go as far as drive Eva home on those nights.
    4. Mrs Gruwell brings these students to become allys with one another as well. With all the cultural territory at this school she breaks down the wall within her class. She makes all the students move their chairs to redefine their "borders". Eventually forcing them to make friends, and allys with each other.


C. Inspirational Mentor
    1. Mrs Gruwell brings a tape of Tupac Shakur into class, she tries to tie his lyrics into an English lesson. Her students initially respond negatively by saying "this white lady is gonna come in here and teach us about rap music?" The argument that erupts between students and teacher becomes passionate, and makes the students really see her point of view. She inspires them to learn about the Holocaust because she makes a direct correlation between the Nazis and a gang.
    2. Mrs Gruwell sets up a "behavioral modification" type classroom. She offers rewards to her students only if they have earned it. When these students are given their first reward, they are taken to the Holocaust museum and brought out to dinner. From this experience the students draw much inspiration to continue studying Anne Frank and the Holocaust.
    3. When Mrs Gruwell's students return for their sophomore year in her English class, she has for each of them a bag of books, and a glass of cider to make "a toast for change". One student toasts to change her ways and stop with all the boyfriend drama, to value herself more. Another student toasts to never let another person hurt her again. One student shares the sad story of becoming homeless over the summer, but also the hope that he felt coming back to Mrs. Gruwells class and knowing he would be safe there.
   4. When the students are told they will not be allowed to be in Mrs. Gruwells classroom in years to come, they take what they have learned from watching Mrs Gruwell and recommend that she go to the school board, or superintendent and fight it. They have seen her fight and the benefit they have received from her fighting for their rights.
    5. After Mrs. Gruwell had inspired Eva to do the right thing in her court case, she then began to look up to Mrs Gruwell. Something that the audience had not seen coming, since in the beginning Eva said she "hated white people"

 TEACHER # 2
  D.  Disciplinarian
    1. Joan came to see Mrs Watson about a grade she received on her paper. Mrs Watson allowed her to re-write the paper using her own words, she wanted know what Joan thought instead of what Joan had been taught to think. Joan had not been given a poor grade before. Her initial reaction was to be upset, but Mrs Watson talked it out with her. 
    2. When Betty stops attending school after marriage, Mrs. Watson is expected to pass her anyway. That is what the teachers did in those days. Instead she scolds Betty and tells her she needs to earn her grade.
    3.Betty is very upset that Mrs Watson is requiring her to turn in her late work for an A. She writes an article in the school paper slamming Mrs. Watson for her teaching methods and exposes some of her personal life information. Mrs Watson reacts. She is very upset that her message was so disillusioned by the article.
    4. On her first day she is embarrassed and frustrated by the students knowing the entire syllabus and having already read their textbook. So to show them up she returned the next day with a new syllabus and began teaching the girls to go outside of the assigned work to see what else is out there.
 
E. Activist
    1. Arrives at Wellesley to make a difference. She is introduced by Betty in the first 30 seconds of the movie being called a bohemian who didn't stop until she got the job. She is a revolutionary of her time. She questions the norm of the traditions, rituals, and expectations of these college girls.
    2. Stresses the importance of the girls thinking for themselves by changing the syllabus and taking them to see modern art. As it turns out, that was not allowed since it was not approved by the dean.
    3. Mrs Watson tries in many scenarios to convince the girls to do more with their lives. She helps Joan apply to Law school, only one woman could get in per year at that time in history. She showed the girls slides of American advertisement depicting women as happy in their roles of servant and obedience with a smile.
    4. She opens the eyes of these young girls to what other options there were besides "wife". The idea that a woman could be a wife and have a career was fiction to them, but Mrs Watson wanted to teach them otherwise.

F. Friend
    1. The girls in Mrs Watson's class invite her to come to a secret ceremony. They use a password at the door and invite her in to ask her any questions they want. Both Mrs Watson and the girls share personal experience and have a moment of bonding.
    2. In the end of the movie all the girls from her classes come to her office and present her with a gift. They have taken the DaVinci paint by numbers and completed them in their own colors and styles. This is the way they show her appreciation.
    3.  Mrs Watson is escorted by her class at graduation on her way out of Wellesley. She had decided not to return the following year. The girls ride their bikes, in caps and gowns, down the drive next to her car. There are tears, you can see theses women have bonded and become friends.

Mrs. Watson and Mrs. Gruwell were faced with a very different set of students who existed in very different times. They were on opposite sides of the country teaching students of the upper class versus students of lower class. They were discouraged in their missions due to different kinds of hurdles. These two teachers came into an entirely different school and set of students, and they both provided excellent examples of advocacy for their student. They both managed to successfully teach, respect each other, befriend one another, and make a difference in the lives of their students.

Large vs Boyce

   The roles advocated by the authors here in these two articles are similar in regards to the nurturer role. Both stress the importance of listening to your children and being sensitive to emotions and thoughts. In the article by Jerry Large you see the nurturer role clearly. He starts his argument with "hug your kids and kiss their boo boos". The same thing stands out in the article about Greenburg. He researches, studies, and practices what I see as nurturing qualities, “Kindness, caring, empathy, being able to de-center from your own point of view and listen deeply to others—these are values that should be cultivated in our classrooms.” Both of the men mentioned in each article are somewhat of trailblazers, or researchers as well.
   Paul Tough's book states that " if you want success, build character and the rest will follow". I see the same representation in the article by Barry Boyce where he says that mindfulness will help us "to have the ethical character we need to live in the world". This example could be the role of a mentor, to parents and to children since the work of Greenburg has helped people of every age.  I also see life coach, or role model as possible roles.

begginning to draft paper #2

I have chosen two movies to base my second paper on. I want to use "The Freedom Writers Diary" and "Mona Lisa Smile".

 INTRO

Teachers everywhere have many different strategies and teaching methods that work for them and their students. Some teachers bring a very strong sense of their own personalities and experiences into the classroom, while others are faced with the complete unknown when hired to teach. Their strengths and weaknesses can be documented to help others to reach the goal of teaching successfully through trial and error and sharing these experiences.  All in all, teachers are different across the world. Pointing out the similarities and differences over time, location, and many other factors will put into perspective the types of teachers who have dedicated their career to making students academic lives better.

I will build my body paragraphs from these different topics. I think 1200-1500 words will be sufficient for me to do compare/contrast paragraphs for some of these. 

possible topics for body paragraphs:

teacher's personal traits; appearance, gender, where they come from, alienation, culture shock, private lives (love life, are they happy?)

school traits; location, time period, students attitudes, funding, teachers attitudes, school overview

effectiveness of teachers; roles they play, students grades, control of the classroom, lesson plans, field trips, are students responsive?