This is my rough draft of intro paragraph...followed by thesis. comments appreciated!
There are endless varieties of teachers in this great nation, some who display passion and patience, others who simply "babysit" and retire each day with a paycheck. Students in Kindergarten through 12th grade rely on their teachers to provide them with the best education possible. This should not differ from state to state or district to district, all teachers should be giving these students a foundation for a future. It is not the job of one teacher, but of all working together. Evidence has presented itself that if we are not helping to guarantee this quality education, then what are we doing? Each teacher should be held to a certain level of expectations that will result in a better education for students, and a better group of teachers there to represent our American students.
In America today we need to fix the problems in our educational system by changing the way we encourage and monitor our teachers proficiency.
I like this and it sounds great but isnt the thesis suppose to be in the first paragraph?
ReplyDeleteYes :) I just wanted to make sure that it was clear which was my thesis during my own drafting. I worked on the thesis separately.
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